


Alone Time

by Ambitious_Rubbish



Series: Kinktober 2020 [11]
Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Gen, Kinktober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27047860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambitious_Rubbish/pseuds/Ambitious_Rubbish
Summary: Even the most seasoned adventurers need a little “alone time” every now and again. In fact, some might argue that they need even more than ordinary folk. Something about being on the road for such long stretches of time and having potential death lurking around every corner can really take it out of a person. No wonder that those few moments of peace and quiet, stolen away in the middle of all the chaos, are so precious.But honestly? People don’t need to hear the details.Nor do theywantto.
Series: Kinktober 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949869
Comments: 4
Kudos: 3





	Alone Time

**Author's Note:**

> https://archiveofourown.org/works/23466580
> 
> Day 13: "Seduction"
> 
> Day 14: "Stranger Sex"
> 
> Day 15: "Masturbation"

Even more so than the rest of Athkatla, the area immediately around the city’s northeastern gates was a whirlwind of chaos. There were crushes of people trying to get into the city, throngs of them trying to get out, and even larger mobs plying their various trades in the streets.

Falynn and her group had ducked into a little tavern just slightly off the beaten path. There was really nothing to distinguish it from any of the dozen or so similar establishments in the area. The food wasn’t particularly good. The drinks were all about the same level of watered-down. The service hovered on the border of “mediocre” and “terrible,” with the final determination still to be made. Really, the only thing this place had going for it over all the others of its ilk was that it was quiet.

A man began vomiting in the corner and was soundly cuffed about the ear by one of the serving wenches. They began to argue, which made for an absolutely appalling racket.

So - “relatively” quiet, then.

Most of the tavern’s patrons were the typical midday drinker crowd. Not particularly interested in talk or entertainment, and, with the exception of the one individual very loudly losing his breakfast all over the floor, and being beaten to a bloody pulp as a result, rather content to mind their own business and ignore everything that was going on around them.

“So, let me get this straight. Quayle is your… uncle.”

Aerie frowned. She’d never been all that good at “small talk,” and right now, it was showing. She pursed her lips and thought for a moment, clutching her little mug of lukewarm tea with both hands and trying to ignore the hateful stares of the bartender. This wasn’t the sort of place where the clientele ordered things like tea, but the Avariel didn’t know that. Nor had she gotten the hint when all her other companions had ordered ale. “Well, no… I mean… obviously he’s not _actually_ my anything. He’s not my mother’s brother or my father’s brother or-”

Falynn stifled a sigh. “No, no, I understand that part, I’m just a little confused as to- you know what? Never mind.”

“O-ok? Um… why do you ask?”

Jaheira was picking at what had probably started life as a potato, but was clearly now just a repository for mold and other less than savory substances. She dropped her fork in disgust, the thin metal clattering noisily against her plate. “He does not remember it, but your ‘uncle’ traveled with us for a short while during our time in Baldur’s Gate.”

Aerie blinked owlishly at her. “He did?”

“As I said, it seems he does not remember it.”

“Which I find very, very odd,” said Falynn. “We’re kind of a memorable bunch.” She jerked her head towards Minsc who seemed to have tuned the entirety of his surroundings out, and was busy feeding Boo tiny crumbs of bread torn from the slightly stale loaf that had been served with their meals. She chuckled softly as Aerie caught her meaning; the large man and his hamster did tend to be difficult to forget. “Hey, Jaheira, do you remember that story he told us about how he liked to relax after a long day on the road?”

The half-elf’s eyes suddenly went wide and she pushed back a ways from the table so she could fold her arms across her chest. Jaheira had never been shy about expressing her feelings – well, her anger at any rate – but it was rare to see her so clearly… unsettled. “I do. I truly wish I didn’t.”

Aerie flicked her gaze between the two of them, sure there was an angle to this conversation that she just wasn’t comprehending. “Um… why?”

“I’m just remembering how it went,” Falynn said. And now the elf noticed the tension in Falynn’s shoulders as she struggled to not break out into a fit of giggles. “We were at an inn – was it the Blushing Mermaid?”

“Blade and Stars,” Jaheira muttered.

“Right. Anyway, we’d been doing some freelance work for the Flaming Fist. Kept us really busy for a few days, but at the end of it, they’d paid us pretty well. So there we were: tired, but our coin purses a good bit heavier, and we decided we’d go to a nice inn, have a hearty meal, some drinks, get a good night’s rest. You know, the usual. So, anyway, we’ve finished our food, everyone’s fairly deep into their cups. Jaheira and Khalid are making eyes at each other.”

It still stung Jaheira to think about her husband, but there had been enough time since their escape from captivity that memories of him didn’t trigger either crippling sadness or a state of terrifying rage. She smiled faintly as her mind drifted back to the moment Falynn was referring to. There were so few of them during those days – times when they could relax, let their guard down and act like a normal married couple.

“Immy was busy trading bawdy limericks with the half-dozen dwarven caravan guards seated at the next table over.” She laughed. “And Dynaheir had told us we were all idiots and retreated upstairs, taking Minsc with her.”

Even Jaheira was snickering now. “She was the wisest of us that evening.”

“I won’t argue with that. But anyway, we were all gathered around our little table in the inn’s common room, when all of a sudden your uncle Quayle just starts talking about his plans for the evening. Totally unprompted. Nobody had asked, the conversation had kind of stalled, and yeah, suddenly, he’s giving us all the details of what he’s got in mind. Says he’s got a ‘hot date.’ I’m not kidding, his words. And that he was going to pull out ‘all his best moves.’”

“Uh, Falynn? I’m… I’m not sure I need to hear this,” Aerie stammered out.

The sorceress waved a hand dismissively. “Of course you do. You can live with someone all your life, but the best information comes from stories like these. You have to take the opportunity to learn when it comes at you. So, anyway, he starts rambling on and on about how setting the right mood was key, or something. I swear, he got all serious, like he was quoting from some sacred text written by dusty scribes a thousand years ago. ‘It is critical to set the proper mood, and there are many approaches one may take in doing so. One may be sufficient for your needs, or it may require multiple techniques. Experiment! Find what works for you.’”

“Music. That was one of his favorite techniques,” Jaheira interjected.

Falynn snapped her fingers. “Right. Your uncle is not… uh… not a humble man, and he felt obligated to tell us that he’d created just the right spell for this sort of thing. Something that would play gentle harp music to ‘craft the proper atmosphere.’”

Jaheira snorted derisively. “ ‘Soothing. Relaxing.’ Or so we were told.”

“And then he starts getting into the rose petals.”

Deep down, the bewildered Aerie felt a tug of consternation warring with her curiosity. Her instincts told her she was better off not asking questions, not trying to garner any further information on this somewhat disturbing topic. But she couldn’t help herself. “What rose petals?”

“Oh, you see, that was another one of his little tricks. Cover the bed in fresh rose petals. Really get that ‘atmosphere’ going, you know?”

By now, the elven priestess had gone even paler than normal. Her eyes were wide and her fingers were white-knuckled where she clutched a little desperately at her mug of tea. “I… I like rose petals.”

“Well, sure, who doesn’t? But that was only part of the whole grand escapade. He had more. Very specific things that he felt absolutely compelled to share with us. More than the harp music and the rose petals, there was the lighting, too. Low, but not too low. Bright enough to see by, but enough to keep just a touch of mystery in the encounter.”

And now, Jaheira too, was struggling to maintain a straight face. She managed only by sheer force of will – the raw stubbornness that was so intrinsic to her nature. “Falynn. I think that’s probably enough. I believe she gets the idea.”

“But I haven’t even gotten to the best bit yet. See, all of these fancy plans of his, they weren’t for some ‘special lady friend’ or ‘gentleman caller’ or anything like that. They were all for him. He wanted to ‘treat himself’ as he put it. So, nice meal, some wine, the music, the flowers… all leading to a nice, romantic evening with… himself.”

Aerie choked on her tea. Ever helpful, Falynn gently patted her on the back until the coughing fit subsided. “W-wait...” the elf began, her mind whirling. “He… he was talking about-”

“Yup.” The auburn-haired sorceress made a very distinct and recognizable gesture with her hand, her wrist working back and forth in a slow and rhythmic fashion.

A little strangled-sounding noise fought its way up from the back of Aerie’s throat.

Next to her, Yoshimo shook his head slowly. His sharp Kara-Turan features had hardened even further into a sort of mask that let little emotion slip through. “A man… deserves his pleasures, I suppose,” he said, though his voice shook just the tiniest bit, as if the man himself didn’t truly believe the words he was speaking.

Next to _him,_ Nalia, who had been watching in mild horror as the foul-looking gruel in the bowl in front of her slowly started to congeal into something capable of independent locomotion, finally looked up into a sea of mildly baffled faces. She added her own befuddlement to the mix. “Are… are we talking about-”

“The adventures of Onan the Barbarian?” Falynn said, snickering wickedly.

“You really can’t help yourself, can you?” Jaheira rolled her eyes and sighed. “So utterly juvenile.”

“I know, I know, but honestly, I was kind of impressed. All that work? How can you not respect that level of dedication? I mean, I know I sure don’t have that kind of patience. I get lonely all the time, but when I need to… well, you know… I just-”

“For the love of Silvanus, please do not finish that sentence.”

“Oh, come on, Jaheira. It’s perfectly natural. You’re the one always telling me to embrace Nature.”

“Yes. But Nature is not always pleasant. Or need I remind you of the time you ate those Wilderberries? I told you to stay away from them, but you ignored me, and then you spent the next week with a constant flow of liquefied pestilence pouring from your nethers.”

Nalia made a sudden gagging noise.

“… ok, point taken.”

“Perhaps our druid friend is right, Falynn,” Yoshimo said. He tossed a glance at Nalia who looked as if she’d bitten into something sour and her entire face was puckering up into a grotesquely shriveled mockery of its normal self. “Perhaps this is not an… appropriate story to be telling in polite company.”

But Falynn, never one to be deterred when it came to these sorts of things, continued blithely on. Anyway, the best part… the best part had to have been when he started talking about the lynchpin of his plan. I mean, everything else – music, ambient lighting, all of it – that was just the start.” She fixed Aerie with an amused little stare. “Your uncle is into some… unorthodox stuff. He told us that part of the reason he’d never settled down with anyone was because it was just too exciting meeting new people. You knew nothing about them, so being with them was a constant mysterious, and that mysteriousness, that novelty… he couldn’t give that up. And so he started talking about how, sure, you can… you know… pay someone to take care of you, but honestly, right, there’s a lot to be said about being with someone who knows what you like.”

Jaheira slapped a hand over her face.

“So how do you do this? Reconcile this whole idea of mystery and the unknown with its total opposite? And he had just the thing-”

The half-elf groaned, and, like ripping off a bandage quickly to try and make it less painful, she blurted out the solution to which Falynn had been slowly building up these past few minutes. “He leaned on his arm until it fell asleep.”

Yoshimo took a sip from his mug of ale. Then another.

Then another.

His last “sip” took the vessel from half-filled to bone dry.

It took a little longer for the other two women to catch on, with Nalia figuring out the answer first. She shuddered violently in her chair. “I… that may just be the most vile thing I have ever heard.”

Even Aerie caught on. Eventually.

And promptly wished she could forget what she had just learned.

“I… I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”


End file.
